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Christian book i kissed dating goodbye

." On November 20, 2005 Harris gave a message to the church at which he is Senior Pastor, "Courtship, Schmourtship: What Really Matters in Relationships".

In this message Harris acknowledged problems with how the singles related in his church.

After some hemming and hawing and at long last some good honest talk about expectations and getting caught up in semantics, we finally came to the conclusion that dating wasn't necessarily the root of all evil, that it could be done in a God-honoring way — and, in fact, that we were pretty much doing that already.

My then-boyfriend and I wanted to extend the wisdom of the weekend so we bought a book there about dating to read together.So instead of learning to do it well, some would have us just not date altogether.But I think that in avoiding this potentially messy part of life, we miss out on the chance to learn about and practice discipline, integrity, obedience, responsibility, seeking God's will, and following God's unique direction for each of our lives and relationships.In the message, Harris also indicated that it was "OK" for single men and women to go out for coffee by themselves, apparently correcting misconceptions some singles had in his church.Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend suggest that avoiding dating in order to avoid suffering, as Harris advises, causes those who do so to forgo opportunities to mature, especially through learning how to create healthy boundaries.I understand it's difficult to remain pure in our sex-saturated society.And I've witnessed much harm and hurt accomplished in the name of dating.I don't even remember what it was called — something about dating and integrity, I think — but it had a bright green cover so we referred to it as "The Green Book."Our motives were good — and I think the motives of the author of The Green Book were, too. After telling us to view, treat, and honor people of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters in Christ (a paradigm we could buy), The Green Book laid out a plan in which you don't really date, but find a best friend of the opposite sex by hanging out in groups. — one day the guy of this best-friend relationship asks the woman to be his bride and they live happily ever after (that is, after the guy picks the girl up off the floor because she's broadsided by his proposal! According to the book, one-on-one relationships are a no-no, as is any kind of physical contact. )Well, as you can imagine, my then-boyfriend and I already had a one-on-one relationship.Maybe some hand holding — but only after you're engaged. And we'd not only held hands before betrothal, we'd actually kissed. So what had started as a quest to honor God in our dating relationship, led only to an overwhelming sense of confusion and guilt (for things we weren't quite sure why we should feel guilty).I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a 1997 book by Joshua Harris.The book focuses on Harris' disenchantment with the contemporary secular dating scene, and offers ideas for improvement, alternative dating/courting practices, and a view that singleness need not be a burden nor characterized by what Harris describes as "selfishness".

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